Published February 6, 2025 

You’d think I have enough to deal with right now. It keeps getting worse. Here’s a short outline of what’s going on.

• Unless my healthcare provider and United Healthcare reach an agreement before then, my entire health and trans care will no longer be in network after March 31. That would be a disaster for me.

• If what I’m hearing is true, any week now my apartment building will be given notice that it’s going to be acquired and demolished for an infrastructure project. I will join 40 or so others in the building in having to find a new place to live within 90 days. We pay around $700 less than fair market rate per month, so this would be a major financial blow, even if we are able to find one of the best deals.

• My car insurance premiums just went up almost double.

• Other costs … well, you know.

• Things that I use that used to be free are going to cost money now, and become more complicated.

• Racists and Nazis are running this country. As the Super Bowl draws near, the NFL isn’t even pretending to put up a good fight.

• Although I am still on leave from work, I don’t see that I have much of a future there when I return. I just got my performance evaluation to cap off my fourth year there, and while the words from my boss were all positive, I’m still an entry-level copy editor. It’s absurd, and the restructuring of our team comes with some pretty scary prospects for me.

• It’s not a good time to be a trans woman in America.

• It’s not a good time to be a senior trans woman in America.

This says a lot of what you should know

Katelyn Burns has some things to say about being a trans journalist in America.

If I had the energy, I’d post about 20 links for you with news about what’s happening. Every day I am shocked by how little cisgender people know about what’s happening to us.

But I don’t have the energy. Maybe soon. Right now it’s all too much for me. It took me two hours to write this. My hands are shaking worse than ever.

(Well, okay, there’s this, from 2018, where anti-trans people admit that the “bathroom predator” scare isn’t based on reality.)

My nightmare last night was one of the worst I’ve ever had. I woke up screaming. I woke up from flinching and convulsing throughout the night. I’m damaged.

Right now it feels like I’m beyond repair.

Everything about me feels like it’s shutting down.

The punches in the gut are becoming too much. I don’t know what else to say.

Featured image by ArtMari via Shutterstock.

♥

Thank you for reading

If you appreciate what you find here and feel generous, you can check out the Tip Jar. Thank you for reading. Here’s a butterfly for you.

/”””””\  \  /  /”””””\
\   0   \(  )/   0   /
>       l l       <
/    o   l l   o    \
\,,,,,,,,,/v\,,,,,,,,,/