Published April 24, 2025

How much more do people need to see? The Trump administration, according to reports based on leaked documents, wants to eliminate all funding for a federal program whose central mission is life-saving crisis support for LGBTQIA+ teens and youth.

The same Republican Party that considers a declining birth rate an emergency of epic proportions and has thrust weirdo pro-natalist wackos into the national conversation, doesn’t seem to embrace the 2020ish refrain that “all lives matter.”

I’m so tired.

Every day there are dozens of stories I could share, but holy fuck. Do people still not know who the bad guys are?

My status

I am still on leave from work and applying for long-term disability. My clinic says I am nowhere near ready to return to my job.

Many kind people are doing wonderful things for me. A neighbor is bringing me stir-fry today. He feeds me about once a week. Another neighbor has helped me with my hair. Friends check in on me.

A friend is buying me a new portable AC so that if my 10-year-old unit conks out this summer, I’m ready. I first used that one the day Trump came down the escalator in June 2015 to announce his candidacy for president. Both — the horrible man and the powerhouse Pinguino — are still alive against all odds, but maybe it’s time to say farewell, huh?

This is another important week for me. My future is riding on a lot that will happen.

If there’s a law in place that says I can’t look cute at the medical clinic, I’m ignoring it. When I have more energy, I will tell you about the Betty Boop T-shirt I am wearing in this photo and its significance to me.

Almost six months after the election that put me on the floor and was followed by my posting what is essentially a suicide note online, there are still people I’d have thought would have called or written, but people have been surprising me in all sorts of ways. Maybe they don’t even know transgender people are targeted for eradication. Who knows?

I’m grateful for and focused on the ones who show up. They are a big reason my life force is fighting so hard. Whatever parts of me that want to come back to life, I probably owe to their kindness. If I someday slide across a ballroom floor in a magnificent dress and in defiance of the odds, I’ll dance with the ones that brung me.

You are probably one of the people who have done a kindness or two for me. I’m so grateful. Thank you.

Sending love.

Main photo by Lia Koltyrina via Shutterstock.

Here’s a song for you

Many years ago, I could play it so well that wedding singers would track me down and say they heard I was the person to call if you wanted a guitarist to play “The Water is Wide.” I could play it in my sleep. In fact, I still do. My fingers know where to go, and I dream I am playing it perfectly.

As I relearn how to play, my fingers can’t get there yet, but I have hope. Muscle memory is a funny thing. So is rust.

♥

Thank you

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