Published December 15, 2024
Yesterday, all my troubles did not seem so far away.
I woke up to a story in the local paper about the possibility the building I live in might have to go away for a major bistate project, which would leave me looking for a place to live.
This is one of the last “affordable” places in the city. The monthly rent I pay is $750 less than fair market value for a similar apartment. Where would I go? I have looked all over Oregon and Washington, and the options are depressing.
I ordered a modest grocery delivery, and as I was closing the door, the shopper asked if she could scan one of the products for a record of the transaction. When I began to reopen the door, the lock fell to the floor, leaving a big hole where it used to be.
This is the fourth time since I moved in here in 2018. Right now, I can’t lock my door if I leave. I’ve decided not to leave.
Meanwhile, my leave from work has hit a snag as I wait for approval. The other stuff, the assault on trans rights and on all of the load-bearing supports holding together the country, that hasn’t gone away. My depression, my nightmares, my full-body tremors, twitches, missteps, pain and more, that hasn’t gone away.
Sleep is the best thing I’ve got going right now.
My sleeping area doesn’t look like this right now. You don’t want to see what my sleeping area looks like right now.
Sending love.
♥
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