Published December 9, 2024

One thing about what I am going through right now is that it doesn’t stop. We’re not even at the worst of it yet, but for me and for other transgender people, we wake up to it every day.

In “The Insider,” one of the lawyers advising Russell Crowe’s character, Jeffrey Wigand, speaks to this point.

I know what you’re facing, Jeff. And, I think I know how you’re feeling. In the Navy I flew A-6s off carriers. In combat, events have a duration of seconds, sometimes minutes. But what you’re going through goes on day in, day out, whether you’re ready for it or not. Week in, week out. Month after month after month. Whether you’re up or whether you’re down. You’re assaulted psychologically. You’re assaulted financially, which is its own special kind of violence because it’s directed at your kids. What school can you afford? How will that affect their lives? You’re asking yourself, ‘Will that limit what they may become?’ You feel your whole family’s future’s compromised, held hostage. I do know how it is.”

I’ve seen people complaining online about what they see as improper use of such words as “violence” and “terrorism” with respect to psychological warfare. These are people who have never been targets of such campaigns, I’m sure.

It’s exhausting. Even if the threat is all we have to deal with and our freedom and lifesaving healthcare are never taken away from us, it’s there every day. The threat is its own brand of terrorism. It never stops. It doesn’t take a day off, whether or not we can handle it. It’s cruel, and it’s evil. It’s why my 12-week leave from work might not nearly be enough. I’m still shattered. How do you heal if you can’t stop the bleeding?

♥

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