Month: May 2015

whateverImage by Gustavo Frazao

This piece by Maria Bello in The New York Times and her piece that preceded it were food for much thought as I was reminded of them again recently. Consider:

Echoing the thoughts of many, one person wrote to me: “I’ve been feeling ‘whatever’ and I didn’t know what to call it. I’m a whatever too.” Another said: “Being a divorced mom I sometimes don’t know where my life fits, and your story brought to light that everything doesn’t always have to be black and white. There can be ex-husbands who are still partners in our and our children’s lives, friends who could be lovers — whatever it is.”

Yes. And so continues the journey toward liberation from the preconceived notions and the labels of others we so often think we must personify.

At the risk of labeling you … are you a whatever?

Back home from the grocery store, and all of its temptations, which reminded me of an oldie but goodie from a retired football coach.

“If you put it in your mouth and it tastes good, spit it out!”

Published May 4, 2015

From time to time, tweets disappear, leaving behind their ghost. This was one of my favorites from nearly a decade ago. Here in late 2023 as I rediscovered it, I am glad it’s here.

As originally formatted, I think, it displayed as:

Those broken parts
You hide from others
Show me

I am glad it’s here. I am glad to have reconnected with it.

penandpaperPhoto by topnatthapon

A line I heard today brought me here to post this. I’m certain there are several variations, but the version I heard is easy to remember.

“The faintest ink is better than the best memory.”

Going through notes I’d jotted down, long ago and more recently, reminded me that false memory is a real thing, and that misremembering something can be as troublesome as completely forgetting it. I’ve experienced both in the past few weeks as I’ve stumbled upon notes, whose details are not the way I’d remembered — or of which I had no recall.

Even now, as the world around me distracts me, I’m losing focus about the points I wanted to make in this post. Ideas fade so quickly sometimes. But my main post is: Write it down.

On a piece of paper. On a receipt. On your hand. Or dictate it and record it. Get it on the record, so to speak. Preserve it. Now. Before you forget it.

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waitressservingPhoto by Iakov Filimonov

No, not the song, but if I’ve put it in your head, you’re welcome.

Not long ago I ordered a meal from a person who smiled and was cheerful throughout the transaction. It was late at night, and her job can’t be all that fun, yet her demeanor, not unlike that of the server in the photo above, was such that it seemed like she derived so much joy from serving people.

Soon after, I found myself thinking about something that hadn’t crossed my mind in a while.

More often than I’d care to admit, I’ve taken people in the service industry for granted. I see others who are worse offenders than I, but that doesn’t take me off the hook. It’s wrong to treat someone like a servant just because they are in a service type of job. And in terms of a test of a person’s character, there are few things as revealing as the way someone treats the wait staff at a restaurant.

What I found during my times when I was out of work, and even for weeks after returning to the ranks of the employed, is I felt the most empathy for people in such jobs at the times when I was at my most vulnerable. When things were tough for me. When I would have been happy to have any job. Those times taught me not to take anything for granted. I saw people working the checkout line or the service counter or answering the phones as real people, someone trying to make a living, feed their family, someone with goals and wishes and challenges in their lives, and struggles I didn’t know anything about.

Everyone is going through something. Try to be tender with them, try to empathize, especially if their job is to wait on you and serve you. As a friend of mine says, be kind.

I’ll try to do better myself when times are not so tough and I forget what it’s like.


Photo by Iakov Filimonov

movieticketToday’s Movie Quote Stuck in My Head comes from “Keeping the Faith,” the 2000 film starring Ben Stiller, Edward Norton and Jenna Elfman. They play childhood friends who grow up to be, in order, a rabbi, a priest and a businesswoman.

At one point, Norton’s character, Father Brian Finn, is struggling with his feelings for Elfman’s character, Anna Riley. Finn looks to the pastor of his church, Father Havel, played by longtime actor, writer and director Milos Forman. Father Havel shares his personal stories of inner conflict with Father Finn before getting to the heart of the matter.

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snailonslowbloomPhoto by QueSeraSera

This blog post, and others on that site, played a significant role in convincing me it was probably time to get back to blogging and what I sometimes call therapeutic writing.

Past time, probably.

There’s more to the story, including why I chose a photo with a snail on hydrangeas, and perhaps that story is destined to be told here later, but I wanted to be sure to say this: The simple, yet powerful, courage and grace of that slow bloomer gave me comfort regarding my own fight with growth in fits and starts. I wanted to share it with you.

And I just did. Hope you are well, or moving closer to it.